August 15th -It’s been a spectacular summer! So great living here in Northern Michigan, it’s so amazingly beautiful. Walked the dog down to the lake today through towering pines. Love it! The lake just sparkles and it’s so peaceful.
October 16th – I am convinced this must be God’s country! The leaves are incredible, every shade of gold, red and orange. Went to a real farm and picked up pumpkins and gourds for the front porch. On the way into the neighborhood we saw a whole herd of deer, just staring at us with those big eyes. I think I’ll put some corn out for them. They’re just the most gorgeous creatures!
November 14th – They said tomorrow will be opening day of deer season. I just can’t imagine why anyone would want to shoot these lovely animals! I’ve had great success with feeding my little herd of six does. They come every evening just before dusk and eat the corn I’ve scattered in the yard. They also are predicting snow next week. I’m so excited! Thought of getting a snowblower, but we’re going to go “old school” and shovel ourselves.
November 22nd – Snowed quite a bit overnight. Everything is blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and brushed snow off the steps and walk and together we shoveled the driveway and had a little contest as to who could shovel the most snow (I won)! This is so beautiful. I love Michigan! Also, we are very impressed with the guy who plows the neighborhood. He came by twice today, which meant we had to shovel the end of the drive again, but we are very grateful that he’s so efficient. Dog loves playing in the snow too!
November 26th – More snow last night. Just think, we’ll have our first Thanksgiving with a layer of snow on the ground. So much to be thankful for. That plow guy is still pretty consistent, twice a day he manages to plow in the foot of the driveway just after we shovel. Well, at least we’re getting plenty of exercise! Noticed we’re down to only four deer visiting the yard. I hope nothing’s happened to the other two.
December 2nd – I can’t believe it, it snowed again last night. I wonder if the plow guy has a regular schedule? If we could just figure out when he’s coming through the street, we could shovel the drive after he makes a pass. And, it seems like every time the newspaper is delivered the plow guy sweeps snow right into the tube holding the paper. You’d think he’d be a little more considerate.
December 15th – More snow. It didn’t stop all day. Dog is starting to refuse to walk into the woods to poop and is now doing it on the sidewalk. That snow plow guy seems to know exactly when we just cleared the drive and then dumps a ton of the white stuff back into the drive. Jerk!
December 22nd – More of white shit fell last night. Oh, and the damn deer have decided the corn isn’t good enough for them and started chowing down on the cedar trees we paid an arm and leg for! I called the landscaper and he says everyone up here knows you never feed deer because they’ll just start in on the shrubs. He says for $400 he’ll come out and put fencing around the rest of the cedars. I swear he knew this when he planted those ugly cedars!
December 25th – Some Christmas this is going to be. The kids’ flight from Detroit was canceled and they ended driving through blizzard conditions to get here. When they asked the airline to reimburse them for the rental, the airline said they’re not responsible for the cancellation due to “an act of God.” God? God? What kind of God buries us in ten feet of frozen crap? And that plow guy, I swear he waits around the corner ’til we’ve shoveled and then comes down the street. I think he might be a psychopath.
December 27th – They’re predicting a major snowstorm, up to 12 inches of the crap over the next three days with dangerous wind chills. Kids thought it was pretty cool until we asked them to take a shift shoveling this shit. Now they’re both complaining about frost bite. What a couple of wusses!
December 29th – Idiot weatherman was wrong. We didn’t get 12 inches, we got 24 inches and even the plow guy didn’t show up. We’ve got to get the kids to the airport in Traverse City tomorrow and we can’t get out of the driveway. Broke another shovel too. That makes three we’ve broken this year. And the damn dog has started peeing in the house.
January 4th – Had a break in the weather and decided to treat ourselves to a night out. On the way back a god damn deer ran right in front of us. $3000 damage to the car. Those friggin’ beasts should have all been killed last November.
January 20th – The weather turd on Channel 7 says this is an average winter. He’s got to be a complete moron. There’s more snow on my roof than the snow base on Mt. Everest! Saw the landscaper at the hardware store today, while I was buying more snow melt for the sidewalk. He said if I get too much of that near the grass it’ll kill it and he’ll have to install a new lawn. I think he’s related to that f*cking plow guy.
February 2nd – Surprise, surprise…that rodent in Punxsutawney saw his stupid shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter. Oh, and the city says we have to run water continuously or our pipes might freeze. I hate this place. Florida’s actually looking good.
February 16th – Woke to an ear-splitting sound and opened the back door and realized it’s the septic alarm. The septic guy was more than happy to come out and bill us $495 to turn it off and tell us we need a new pump. He says he’s not sure if the snow and cold had anything to do with it, but he says he’s having a banner year so far with emergency calls. Asshole!
February 24th – New pump finally installed. $1250 before labor charges. How come we have city water but have a septic field? What kind of screwed place is this? Now I know why people buy condos.
March 9th – Dog finally going outside again, but a huge icicle snapped off the roof and almost impaled her. Now she’s under the bed and won’t come out. Plow guy hit the mailbox yesterday. The running water is driving me insane….like Chinese water torture.
April 1st -There’s still snow in filthy grey piles all over the place. The lawn looks like hell and that predator landscape guy said we’ve got something called “snow mold.” I thought it was an April Fool’s joke when he said it’ll only cost about $1500 to re-seed the lawn. On a postive note, I did spot some crocuses poking through the snow, they’re so pretty.
May 15th – Beautiful day, the new lawn looks better than ever and the cedars are filling out. Wild turkeys have come every morning. I’ve bought them special feed and given them all names! The golf course just opened and we love waving to the foursomes that zip by and tell us how beautiful our house looks. When they ask us how our winter was, we laugh and tell them it was a awesome and everyone should live in Northern Michigan year round. Those people that head south in the fall and winter are missing out on all the fun! I love this place!